Our brief encounters did not allow me to express my love for you properly. Perhaps they were not brief per se, but never as long as they should have been. The moments we created were too short, our kisses too brief, penetrations not deep enough to reach the depths of my soul the way I would have desired. I keep beating myself up for that. I ask myself, “How dared I not touch you the way you deserved to be touched, or not kiss you the way you deserved to be kissed, or not memorise every shade in your iris?”
I long for your embrace. When I think of it, I close my eyes, then I feel it. I feel you. You give me the type of warmth that resembles the feeling one has when falling asleep in a garden and suddenly feeling the weight of a light blanket gently laid atop of them. They know it is a loved one who covered them. They know it is an act of sheer care. The siesta joy reaches a whole new level, falling asleep more deeply, more securely, floating in sweet dreams. That is what the thought of immersing myself into your embrace makes me feel.
It is heaven. Nothing can be compared. But it is a dream, a memory. I lose all desire to open my eyes and face a reality which perhaps will never be this good. I don’t want to be thrown out of heaven again into dull, daily affairs.
With you and I on opposite corners of the earth, my love, oblivious to where the other is and what lies ahead, it almost feels as though it were taboo to dream of making more memories. I do not dare dream, lest I am disappointed, lest bitterness infuse my dull reality.
Your sweet kisses and the harsh aftermath, in bittersweet contrast, remind me that sometimes we lose and sometimes we win. Fulfillment and loss complete each other. They add taste to life, for the same reason you prefer your black coffee with a luxurious piece of Turkish delight. Their contrasting flavours are a great blend to perfect your afternoon, following your daily siesta.
Your beautiful face and body features and your white complexion resemble a perfectly sculptured Roman statue. Perhaps you are an incarnated Adonis, a godly work of art, my personal masterpiece.
I do not know when I will indulge myself and be able to stare at you once again, but I will close my yearning eyes in the hopes of seeing you with the eyes of my soul, within your dreams.