A Day before Death

By Zhawen Shali

356

 

I will go to place faraway

Where nobody there knows me

A place

Where the streets be peculiar

No house,

No room

No bed

No mobile phone

No internet

Until no gravel of inconsistent speeches

Replays the events of my lost years.

 

I will go to a place

Where no human has arrived to

There were:

I am not a woman

I am not a girl

I am not a mother of anybody,

Where no one owns me.

Even if the deluge starts

I don’t have to get a branch of olive

And bring the news of land to anybody.

 

There will be a day were I will escape from here

Follow searching in all cities

The fate of the lost selves

So I would forget that I:

A day

A month

A year

An age

Was with you.

I then clearly enter the complexity of myself

And tremble in your crowd.

 

Just a day prior to the ruin

I leave here and you all

And to forget

A day I have

City after city

Searched for a memory

Those memories that I

Just like a pigeon

Hiding from the gazing eyes

And made a nest of a dream for me.

 

I will go to death’s home

And forget that one day I did love you

That I had strange feelings about your weird people

That I was a companion of your joy and melancholy

That I have been on your dining tables

That I had coffees at your cafes

That I had a walk with your evenings

And solved the dim equation

Of your lives

And naively raised the two hands of your prayers

By a grave of a martyr of my country.

 

One day I will pack up

And gather my footstep and through them

To the rubbish bin.

The rubbish bin of a country that you all are right

Except me!

 

One day just as a cat in front of front yard door

Of our first house

I will leave the house.

Invite a dream to dine with

Even though I know that no one would come

 

One day I will forget

That I was a human for a faraway human

I have cried faraway from here

Just opposite the broken windows of speaking

I have played a lute of waiting

Inside a spiritless hospitals

Laying down on my back

With a dry mouth

With a nurse watching me

 

One day

Were one day exactly is left to die

Were nearly 24 centuries were left

Before the tribes arrive to the earth

A century after the Mongols

A long time after the disappearance of the bones of

The Neanderthal

Ten years after the devastation Hitler has left

A deluge after the resurrection of the Jews

Inside my wrist’s watch

Just now one day is left to die.

 

One full day is left to die

And I have done nothing

I have not pack up my desires

I have not released my kids like birds

I have not leaded the nurses to the enemy’s Iva truck

I have not wiped a cold forehead of a martyr

Just like a last touch between the numb nerves of existence

And a flooding blood of inexistence

Only one day is left to die

And I am still exhausted in my bed in the Bazaar

Dreaming of naked and cheep things.

 

One has left to die

And I am still got not used to the air of these regions

I am not like a coward poet

I do not water the gardens in the mornings

I do not distribute faithfulness to my neighbours

I cannot reach the moon

A travelling star flees from a sphere of my view

I, irrigate the flowers by oil instead of water

I tear apart my memories just like a card that had

My first zero mark

When I was a student

I did not lie down at night under the moonlight

And I did not dream about the travelling star

Passing by my place

So let the world become a shadow

Let the cloud to grab the neck of the sky

Allow the sun not to wake up

And let the darkness cover my place

At the end I will re-enter language

Without lexicons

What is dimmer than darkness?

 

Translated by Abbas Boskani

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